Monday, 15 June 2009

Crap parenting

Well this weekend was fun. We had J's mum over for what was supposed to be a fun weekend. however after years of taking crap I'd had enough and told her to leave our home.
It all set of wel when I started unpacking all the stuf from the car. I stepped over the gate holding a tomtom and a cotton sunhat there was nothing special about the hat as far as I could tell. Willow stood at the babygate and wanted the tomtom, obviously not a toy so I plonked the sunhat on his head and said why not have this instead. i mean the thing is washable so no harm done right? obviously not because MIL ripped it of "I think not"she said in a stern shaming voice.
Wow not only did that upset him, there was no need for the horrible tone no need for the snatching. all that was needed was a gosh I really rather you don't play with my hat why don't we go and find a suitable toy for
Then dinner time She has this thing about waterbottles. There where several EUan got his own but the twins where expected to share. Why? honestly why why was this botteled water more important than a good relationship with her grandchildren? I picked up a 6pack of waterbottles the same size for 1.40. She kept making remarks and treating them like a couple of puppydogs being pottytrained or something
Then friday evening comes round
She brought a couple of small winebottles was drinking them and left glas & bottles on the floor despite previous warnings.
So Euan knocked it over I cleaned up the mess whilst she was trying on her poor grannies wine crap ensured he was ok and poured another glass. all the wine got finished but glas & bottles where still left on the floor, obviously they got knocked over again this time she was going on about him and his feet and o my gosh how clumsy blah blah blah blah. all of this in a horrible shaming voice. obviously pointing out that it was in fact her bottles left on the floor nothing to do with my tired little boy I got crap back.
And then the thing that pretty much pushed me over the top but not quite was saturday morning we all walked to town. as per usual I forgot to put my shoes on so I went back to our house to get them. When i caught up I found James and MIL talking on the road. Now Euan will be 5 in august he is still learning roadsafety. When I pointed out that they where standing in the middle of the road MIL thought it apprpriate to do a stupid idiot dance in the middle of the road. Honestly what sort of an adult does this with 3 small children right there watching. When I told her it wasn't funny and why wold she do that she stomped of
Euan stayed up late and was obviously tired and overstimulated but seeing as he's lucky if he sees her twice a year i did not see him staying up late as an issue and we're used to accomodating tired cranky babies. dinner was late and he had a massive meltdown he screamed and shouted because he wanted Willows spade as far as he was concerned that was his, why he thought this I'm not sure. he really wanted it and I think he needed something to fixate on to get rid of the yucky emotions that where bottling up. I told him we could look for a spade in town this week just as I told him that morning when willow found it in the charity shop.
I had to hold him so he wouldn't hurt me or anyone else for that matter at which point i could hear her say "this is sick" from the kitchen. Granted she could be talking about the fishpie she was making but somehow I feel it was about me. She stepped out and asked is she should stick her oar in. absolutely not I replied.
A minute later she walked up to us and tried to distract Euan with the fishpie.
I exploded.
She acted like what she did whas perfectly ok She claimed not to be aware of annoying me at any point during her 24hrs at our house (so why did she stomp of?) said she could never do anything right yadayadayda. When James said this is how we parent she shouted "its crap parenting".

Eventhough she said she couldn't drive after having two glasses of wine thats what she did. she could have gone to her brother by cab but she chose to drive the 4 hours instead. Not before lying to Euan and telling him she had to go because someone rang and needed her and then telling me I should hug her for the sake of my son.

So why for the sake of my sons could she not keep her mouth shut. or at least say to James, "you know watching him like this makes me uncomfertable whats going on" or whatever and I'm pretty sure James would have been happy to tell her what was going on. That we tried distraction many times but it simply prolongs the meltdown because he keeps coming back to it agan and again and again untill he has been able to let go of all those emotions, that he is like me very emotional and quickly fills up and needs an outlet for those emotion. instead she choose to judge me make a load of horrible assumtions in front of my kids tell me I'm a bad parent make a complete scen and leave. Leaving behind a crying 4 y/o and a crying 40y/o, twins who we're completely unsure as to what was going on but realised something was going on and whatever it was it wasn't right and because of it wouldn't sleep.
Euan finally fell asleep around 11pm sobbing that he was sorry and he didn't mean to make granny angry.

So James tried to ring her on sunday and she told him she wouldn't come up to see us anymore.
Nice huh? So his eldest sister cut ties with the entire family a few years ago his other sister is more interested in seeing friends and now his mother can't be bothered to accept the fact that we raise our children the way we feel best and chooses not to see her grandkids at all.

And I thought my family was bad.....

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